Zambian Fathers, Listen Up: Postpartum Depression Is Real For Men Too

When a baby is born in Zambia, all eyes are on the mother. But what about the father? New research shows that men also suffer from postpartum depression, and experts say it is time we talked about it. For too long, our men have been told to 'man up' and hide their feelings. That ends now.

Jeffrey Gantwerker, a 46-year-old programme manager in Chicago, thought he was losing his mind after his first child was born. He felt an 'impending sense of crushing doom' and could not stop worrying about his baby. He later learned he was experiencing postpartum depression, a condition that researchers now confirm affects fathers too.

What is paternal postpartum depression?

Postpartum depression is not just a women's issue. According to Sheehan Fisher, a perinatal clinical psychologist at Northwestern University, an estimated 10% of fathers develop symptoms like depression and anxiety during the perinatal period, which runs from pregnancy through the first year after childbirth. That is about half the rate seen in mothers, but experts believe the real number could be higher because men are less likely to seek help.

How does depression show up in men?

Men do not always show depression the same way women do. Daniel Singley, a psychologist who runs a therapy centre for men in San Diego, says depressed fathers often show anger and irritability instead of sadness. 'Under that is feeling hurt, sad, afraid, ashamed, helpless, hopeless, but what we see externally is anger and irritability,' he said.

Men may also have physical symptoms like muscle tension or stomach pain. Some turn to alcohol, drugs, or gambling to mask their pain. This is a dangerous path, and our Zambian brothers need to know they are not alone.

Why do fathers get depressed?

Darby Saxbe, a psychology professor at the University of Southern California, says perinatal depression in both sexes comes from changes to routines, responsibilities, sleep, relationships, and identity. Society tells us that having a baby is a pure joy, but the reality of sleepless nights and new responsibilities can be overwhelming.

Hormones also play a role. Testosterone levels drop in men when they become fathers, especially when they are involved in childcare. Scientists think this might be nature's way of encouraging men to focus on family instead of wandering off.

When is the risk highest for fathers?

For women, the highest risk period is the first weeks after birth. For men, Fisher says the riskiest window is three to six months after the baby is born. This might be linked to the baby's growing needs or the mother returning to work.

Here is a critical warning for Zambian couples: if the mother has postpartum depression, the father is at high risk too. 'The No. 1 risk factor for paternal postpartum depression is maternal postpartum depression,' Singley said.

Real stories from men who suffered

Christopher Choukalas, a 51-year-old professor at the University of California, San Francisco, wrote a book about his experience with postnatal depression. He said he felt overwhelmed and disconnected while raising twin daughters. He would retreat to the garage and sit in the dark, alone and afraid.

Christopher Rose, a 44-year-old video game producer, also suffered alongside his wife. Both showed signs of depression, anxiety, and rage. He eventually joined a fathers support group and found help.

Gantwerker sought help when his wife told him he looked miserable. Therapy and learning that other men had similar issues helped him. When his second child was born in 2022, he was better at managing his symptoms.

What should Zambian fathers do?

If you are a father feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or angry, do not suffer in silence. Talk to someone. See a counsellor. Reach out to your partner, your pastor, or a trusted friend. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength.

Our fathers are the backbone of our families. We must protect their mental health just as we protect our mothers and children. A happy father means a happy home. A strong father means a strong Zambia.

Let us break the silence. Let us support our men. Together, we can build a nation where no father suffers alone.

Frequently asked questions about paternal depression

Can fathers really get postpartum depression?

Yes. Research shows that about 10% of fathers develop depression or anxiety during the perinatal period, which includes pregnancy and the first year after childbirth.

What are the signs of paternal depression?

Signs include anger, irritability, anxiety, physical symptoms like stomach pain, and behaviours like drinking or gambling. Some fathers have intrusive thoughts or feel disconnected from their baby.

How is paternal depression treated?

Treatment includes therapy, support groups, and sometimes medication. Talking to a professional and connecting with other fathers who have similar experiences can make a big difference.

Where can Zambian fathers get help?

Fathers can speak to their local clinic, church leaders, or mental health professionals. It is important to find a trusted person to talk to and not suffer in silence.